Happy Mother's Day.

This is going to be a very long post, so brace yourselves.

They say that twins can feel each other's emotions and feel each other's pain. I think the same is true for best friends. As many of you know, in July of 2011 I lost a baby. My due date, Mother's Day and basically the whole time I knew I was pregnant are very hard times for me. I try to work through it on Mother's Day because, as we all know, I have the best mother in the world and I don't want to spoil her day. But there is always still a small part of me that wants to curl up in bed and cry for the whole day. Having Marceline makes it a bit easier; she's my baby now. Mikee helps, especially since he surprised me with a bouquet of pink roses yesterday because he knows how I feel right now. But something happened today that made me cry, a mixture of both happiness and sadness. My best friend Crystal, who I have known since kindergarten, texted me to wish me a happy Mother's Day. I hadn't told her how I feel about it, especially since this time last year we weren't speaking (thank God that's over). But she knew. She knew it was something that I needed to hear today. It's not just twins that can feel each other's pain, but best friends, too.

And today, I want to acknowledge all the wonderful mothers in my life.  

To all of my friends who have children of their own, thank you for having beautiful children that I can look at to ease the baby-craziness.

To both of my aunts, who both raised beautiful daughters who are now mothers themselves, both to beautiful sons. Happy Mother’s Day, Terrie, Angie, Kayla and Nia.  Thank you for being such wonderful parts of my life.

To my big brother/uncle Tony’s wife Megan (who I seriously need to meet). You have raised a beautiful son, and made my brother very happy, and for that I thank you.

To Keisha, aunt Jess, aunt Arlene, Nancy, and aunt Sandi. You women are amazing and your children are lucky to have you. Thank you for always being the people I look up to.

To Marlana, thank you for being the best mother to Ivy that I could ever ask for. If I was able to create a woman out of thin air to be a mother for my sister, someone who I thought would be perfect, she wouldn’t be anywhere near as perfect as you. Thank you for giving me the best sister I could ever ask for.

To Angie, thank you for raising the man I love. Without a mother like you, he would be someone totally different. Because of you, he is the man he is today.

Tabitha, thank you for always being there for Michael and being someone he can look up to.

To my Nan, thank you for raising my mother to be the woman she is today. Without you, I wouldn’t be the woman I am.

To my aunt Trina, thank you for being a second mom to me. Thank you for always being someone I can turn to when I need to, and for being my mother’s best friend, and for raising your son so amazingly.

To my mother… You are incredible. No matter how stupid something I’ve done has been, you have always supported me. When I struggle with myself, you keep me grounded. When I think I can’t do something, you assure me that I can do anything I set my mind to. When I need to laugh so hard I pee myself, you can always make that happen. When I need a shoulder to cry on, you are always there. You support my dreams, my goals and you have always stood behind every decision I’ve made. I don’t know how I would ever be able to repay you for everything you’ve done for me, and I know that I cannot because it comes from a mother’s love. So every day, I will love you the only way I can: as your child. We may argue but no matter what I will always love you. Thank you for being the most incredible, brave, supportive, independent, caring, loving person I know.

And last but not least, to all the people out there who, like me, have suffered the loss of your child. And the people who understand that pain. It does not matter how old they were when you lost them, even if you were barely pregnant and suffered a miscarriage. You are a mother, and today is your day.

It does not matter what kind of mother you are: birth mother, adoptive mother, mother of a giant family or just one kid, a mother who has lost your child, a mother who has accepted someone else’s child into your heart, or any other kind of mother. Today is your day, make the best of it.

Happy Mother’s Day everyone. I love you, and thank you.