This is the beginning

My mom is a writer. It’s in my blood, coursing through my veins. Yet every time I try to write, I lack the motivation to put pen to paper (or in this case, fingers to keyboard). So I figured, what better to write about than this crazy thing called life? I won’t need to find motivation to write about a fictional character, because this is life. Everyone goes through it. And let’s be honest here, we love to laugh at other people’s mistakes or funny experiences. Well, that works for me, because that’s pretty much all my life is. Let me give you a little background story. I’m nineteen years old and going through a divorce. Yeah, getting married was the first big mistake. I can laugh about it now; we’ve been separated almost a year. It’s also been almost a year since we got married. Yeah, you can see how well that worked out. I started dating my best friend of two years about 2 months after the ex and I separated, and even though he makes me crazy sometimes, I can’t imagine life without him. We adopted a black lab/border collie mix on Valetine’s day. She’s twelve weeks old, so I’m sure you can imagine the insanity she puts us through. My days are filled with “No, Marcy, don’t chew that”, and “No, Marcy, don’t bite mommy’s arm,” and “Marceline, quit humping Clementine!” Clementine is our eight year old one-eyed shih tzu. She hates other dogs, and is an escape artist. Most recently, she escaped and was found on the side of the highway, without her tags, at one in the morning. And then there’s my mom. I can’t think of a way to describe her that won’t make her sound totally crazy. But, you know, she is. I’m not talking like, she should be institutionalized because she’s a threat to herself and others (although she did go to anger management once), I’m talking dysfunctional. Sometimes, I almost pee myself laughing when I read her blogs. Even if it’s something I’m there for, or a story that I’ve heard a thousand times. The way things go through her brain is hilarious. There are times where I’ll say something, and then think to myself “holy shit, my mother just came out of my mouth.” Also, I know all the words to a bunch of Disney movies. I spend my days off work laying in bed with Marceline, watching Disney movies and trying to convince her not to “help” me write.  That’s everyone in my little household.

That’s how today has gone. Aside from the stomach ulcer AND cold (how much does that suck?), I’ve spent the day watching Aladdin and Hercules, singing along at the top of my lungs, and trying to get Marceline to stop humping Clementine. I didn’t even know girl dogs humped things, until she did it to my four year old sister’s unicorn pillow pet. In all fairness, Princess Munchkin gave her the pillow pet, so I guess she can do what she wants with it. Princess Munchkin is a very funny little girl. She has her own way of doing and saying things, and she’ll tell you. For example, she calls strawberries “spazberries”, and if you call them strawberries, she’ll act like she has no idea what you’re talking about, even though she knows damn well what a strawberry is. She’s brilliant, and definitely shares my photographic memory. I’m hoping that the good will rub off on her, and the crazy won’t, but I don’t see that happening. She’s already got so much of it. I love when we keep her for the weekend, we don’t get to see her often. But every time we see her, she’s more of a handful.

Our aunt and uncle came up here from out of state to meet my cousin’s new baby, and took Princess Munchkin, the boyfriend and I out to eat at Joe’s Crab Shack. I swear, you’ve never seen a four year old who loves seafood more than Princess Munchkin. If you let her, she’ll eat until she literally can’t anymore. Every year, my mom’s sister flies crabs in from the east coast (where we’re all from, except Princess Munchkin), and even though Princess Munchkin is from my father’s side of the family, my mom’s side accepts her. It’s not her fault she was born the daughter of an asshole, just like it’s not my fault. And let me just say, Princess Munchkin’s mom is amazing. I’ve known her ten years, and she is just the best kind of person. Anyway, seafood. We’ve been taking Princess Munchkin to eat crab over there since… I believe she was not quite two. She’ll be five this summer, so it’s been a while. Kid can eat some seafood. She loves it. Any kind of seafood you put in front of her. So far, I think I’ve only seen her eat calamari, shrimp, crab, lobster and crawfish. Still, for a four year old, that’s incredible. When I was four, I refused to eat that kind of stuff. I thought it was disgusting.

I work a dead-end job at a call center, but I hope to make a living off my writing. I’m just a simple girl, with a crazy life, who one day wants to see her happily ever after. Maybe that’s why I’m addicted to Disney. Speaking of which, I’m off to see how many Disney movies I can get on my phone.