these are the things that upset me.

I saw a picture online earlier and it got to me. Not that it was a messed up or anything. It was a drawing of two sides of a dog's face. Behind the aggressive side, there was an owner smoking who had the dog on a chain leash and a spiked collar. On the calm side was a family. I thoroughly disagree with that. You're telling me that because I smoke, my dog will be aggressive? You're telling me that it's the collar and leash I put on her determines that? And that a traditional family could raise her better? Bullshit. It's just like this God damn equality issue. (okay, maybe not exactly, but this is my fucking blog).I don't think people should be judged like that. I'll continue this later, too hard on a phone.

What the Hell, it's April?!

Hey, bitches. That’s right, just accept it. Soak it up. If you whine, no one will listen.

I think working at a call center has made me a little meaner. But hey, you listen to assholes scream at you all day over shit that’s not your fault and try telling me that YOU always have rainbows coming out your ass. Other than work and the lack of rainbows, life is good. Marceline has become a giant and I’m pretty sure that in another few weeks she’ll be big enough to terrorize Japan. If you’re offended by that, don’t be. I’m sure I’ll end up making comments that every race will be offended by, including white people.  

Marceline had a sickness, which I can’t remember if I wrote about, so I’ll just summarize. Marceline had a bacterial overgrowth in her g.i. tract. If you don’t speak doctor (which most of you don’t) here’s it in normal words: she was shitting like a goose constantly, so now we have to shove a pill down her throat every twelve hours.

Okay, not shove. We’re total pussies about it and hate to do it. We always give her treats and cuddles after.

I’m trying to get a job where they’ll pay me to write. If people wanted to hear the shit that comes from my mouth, I’d be a billionaire by now. But, until I can find someone to pay me for being awesome, I just want to find a job that does not require pants. Or bras. If you know of anywhere like that which may be hiring, let me know (unless it’s any form of prostitution. Including porn. Although I definitely have the tits for it). If that last comment about the tits made you uncomfortable, I couldn’t help it. They’re huge and distracting.

Okay, I know I haven’t written in a while, but I’m gonna end it here. Between South Park and boobies, I’m just too distracted.

Say something! You know you’ve always wanted to talk shit, and you can do in anonymously in the comments! Hooray for hiding behind the internet!